Although divorce is tragic, there’s a silver lining to it: the possibility of finding new love. There are times when you can’t wait to close this chapter of your life and start a new one. You meet someone special while you’re in the middle of a nasty court battle, find comfort in their sweet words, and realize that you’re in love. If you find yourself in this situation, take a step back. Step away from this potential partner.
Why You Shouldn’t Date During Divorce
You could be saving yourself from a lot of headaches (and heartbreak) if you postpone dating until your divorce is final. Why? For the simple reason that a new partner can worsen this already complicated phase in your life. In the legal aspect, a relationship outside of marriage, especially one that involves sexual relations, qualifies as adultery. Your spouse can prove this through different means, from social media posts to hotel room bookings and witnesses. Although the “adulterer” doesn’t necessarily receive less in terms of finances after the divorce, being labeled as such is in no way pleasant. It’s damaging to your image or reputation. It’s not healthy for the kids, either. What’s worse, your new partner can be dragged into the court battle, named in the documentation or framed as a bad influence on your kids. Not exactly the good start you’re hoping for in a relationship.
It’s worth noting that there’s a pending “no-fault” divorce law in the UK. According to legal solicitors, once that’s passed, you won’t need to prove that someone’s behavior caused the breakdown of your marriage. Nonetheless, this isn’t a license to go back to the dating game while your divorce is pending. Although you won’t be hurt legally, your kids might be affected. Your new love might only be a rebound, and unions like this rarely succeed; they scar couples and throw kids into one failed relationship after another.
What You Should Do Instead
The simple thing to do is to wait until your divorce is final. If your new partner loves you, they will understand your decision and be willing to wait. If they realize that their feelings about you have changed and that the love isn’t there anymore, you can take comfort in the fact that you didn’t invest too much time and emotions. It will be painful, yes. But not as painful as when you push through with that relationship.
As for that palpable emotional void during divorce, lean on your family for support. It’s tempting to look for new connections when your spouse makes you feel unloved and disrespected, but you can direct that urge to relatives whom you haven’t seen in a long time. They might help you tap into new hobbies and interests, which can make you whole again, over time.
In the end, don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. You should think of the legal and emotional implications of entering a new relationship in the middle of a divorce. There’s a perfect time for everything, and that includes dating.
